The universe is a silly photographer

A week of straight yoga, philosophy, breathing and awareness culminated yesterday afternoon and I was exhausted. My sensitivity for others energies has been amplified by being around new people all week, always a prevalent if not sometimes debilitating issue for me. With a great sense of relief and joy though, I’m coming to understand that whenever we find ourselves in new environments, it’s not truly new. Rather, old energies take new forms and together we all meet again. So, yesterday I was done and needed a break. I knew where I needed to be and as philosophy class ended and made way for yin yoga, I gathered a bolster, my mat, and two blocks and headed back towards my hotel. The hotel sits at the very edge of town, backing right up to the forest. I climbed up the marble stairs until they gave way to the cracked concrete rooftop, bypassed the rooftop studio and took the iron staircase to the roof of the studio. One more rickety ladder climb led me to the roof of the roof of the roof. I was on top of the city.

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Up there and alone with the sun slowly sinking towards the Ganga, I couldn’t have been more grateful. I rolled my mat out and set my camera up to take photos at intervals, a fantastic way to check posture alignment. And wouldn’t you know it, the universe is a silly photographer.

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Being wretched

My body was not having any of the 6 A.M. yoga practice this morning. My hips were tight, my shoulder felt dislocated, and my mind was elsewhere, as I was all ready dreaming of breakfast by uthita trikonasana. I couldn’t twist and my fingertips were miles away from each other. By the time I arrived at ardha badha padmottasana, I felt defeated. My mind wandered off my mat and around the room, watching all my classmates. It reported back to me that everyone was moving succinctly from one perfect pose to the next, with perfect form and sound spiritual depth. It rounded out its report with “Just to recap, you can’t do any of the poses. You suck, Allyson, and you’ll be a terrible yoga teacher.” So there I sat, picking at my yoga mat and feeling a particular kind of wretched for the first time in weeks. a terrible yoga teacher.

I tried bringing my awareness back to my mat, where my beautiful body sat in a heap of self pity. My eyes scanned my sheet of poses and that’s when I saw it, my life drishti:

I can do anything

. I had scrawled this gem of a mantra across the side of my sheet a few days prior, after watching Jessica’s Daily Affirmations (see below). I CAN do anything! Clich√©. Of course it is! Because something that rings true gets passed down from generation to generation as a parent teaches it to their child, who knows in their pure little soul how true it is. That child then stands on their bathroom sink shouting

I can do anything!

I realized today that not being able to do a pose perfectly isn’t going to make me a lousy yoga teacher. However, not even trying to get into a pose WILL make me a terrible teacher, unable to relate to my students when, even at their best, their fingers seem miles apart.

I am already an amazing teacher, the yoga will come as it will.

I can do anything good!