Being wretched

My body was not having any of the 6 A.M. yoga practice this morning. My hips were tight, my shoulder felt dislocated, and my mind was elsewhere, as I was all ready dreaming of breakfast by uthita trikonasana. I couldn’t twist and my fingertips were miles away from each other. By the time I arrived at ardha badha padmottasana, I felt defeated. My mind wandered off my mat and around the room, watching all my classmates. It reported back to me that everyone was moving succinctly from one perfect pose to the next, with perfect form and sound spiritual depth. It rounded out its report with “Just to recap, you can’t do any of the poses. You suck, Allyson, and you’ll be a terrible yoga teacher.” So there I sat, picking at my yoga mat and feeling a particular kind of wretched for the first time in weeks. a terrible yoga teacher.

I tried bringing my awareness back to my mat, where my beautiful body sat in a heap of self pity. My eyes scanned my sheet of poses and that’s when I saw it, my life drishti:

I can do anything

. I had scrawled this gem of a mantra across the side of my sheet a few days prior, after watching Jessica’s Daily Affirmations (see below). I CAN do anything! Cliché. Of course it is! Because something that rings true gets passed down from generation to generation as a parent teaches it to their child, who knows in their pure little soul how true it is. That child then stands on their bathroom sink shouting

I can do anything!

I realized today that not being able to do a pose perfectly isn’t going to make me a lousy yoga teacher. However, not even trying to get into a pose WILL make me a terrible teacher, unable to relate to my students when, even at their best, their fingers seem miles apart.

I am already an amazing teacher, the yoga will come as it will.

I can do anything good!

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