A brief list of people who should avoid having yard sales…

Hipsters should not have yard sales. They don’t wake up until noon and only make signs on those tiny little index cards, with no arrows, and no exclamation marks.

Gay men should avoid having yard sales simply because they have very strong emotional connections to their belongings. Case in point: this morning I watched as a petite Asian woman who spoke no English bartered the price of a throw pillow and a fuzzy picture frame until Frances, the gay man, broke down in tears, grabbed what was left of his belongings and retreated back inside. Hilarious.

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These people should definitely have a yard sale.

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